This place is the dad! The breakfast burrito makes me want to beef stroganoff my father's legacy and the coffee drinks are the perfect cure for my early morning artist's-heartbreak depression! I know I can wear my cheap Pitch Perfect imitation-Ray Ban sunglasses inside without being radically judged or religiously persecuted. The pizza crust is highly respected in the Seven Sisters star cluster and as a former dough boy myself I must say it holds up to the strictest standards of Janet Jackson's "Someone to Call My Lover" pizza-dough-greatness scale. If you're hesitant to patronize this establishment, don't let this absolutely absurd review push you further away. I'm just being silly. The food is consistently satisfying. The staff members are friendly and cool. I hope they open back up on Sundays this summer because sitting out on the patio with a coffee on a warm, hazy Sunday dawn before the sun broils away the morning dew is pretty much the thing to do if you're trying to start your day of Sunfish-sailing on Little Sunapee out on the right foot. Bird's the word! Get there!
Blah. The girl and I shared the Crab Mac:
"Lump crabmeat, tomatoes, spinach, crab cheese sauce, and a crab cluster claw."
I make no assumption, but it wouldn't surprise me if their method of composing their mac dishes is to take their stock mac and cheese mix (already finished), cut additions into it, bake in crock OR microwave, transfer to crock, broil, then serve. Just a guess...
There was no flavor melding in this dish. In one word, it was modular.
Each piece of spinach, tomato, and crab hung isolated in a sea of mac.
Spin-Art Dip, Crab Mac, one draught beer, one non-alcoholic apple cider, plus tip: $50.
$8 for the Dip, okay, that's somewhat reasonable. $20 for the Mac, no way, that's steep.
I won't be back. There are far better and well-priced options on the Winooski strip.
My girlfriend and I visited Sneakers yesterday, April 21, 2013, for breakfast around 12:50. We were informed that there would be a 50 minute wait. We came back 45 minutes later, and were seated about 5 minutes later. So far so good.
We sat down, she got a coffee, I was fine with water. We looked at the menus and she decided on the French Toast that she had really enjoyed the last time we were there (no more than two weeks earlier) and I went for the $13 'Kickstarter 3' special. It was described more or less as "an almond crepe stuffed with raspberry cream, drizzled in an espresso chocolate sauce". Sounds pretty good, right?
Our food arrives. It's a busy day, so it takes a little while, but that's to be expected.
But here is where it all goes sour.
Like I said, my girl really enjoyed the French Toast the last time we ate here, no more than two weeks earlier. Last time, she got three crispy pieces of seriously tasty bacon, a great heap of homefries, steaming hot scrambled eggs, and a cascade of four french toast halves. Of course, whipped butter and real maple syrup are included. Not bad at all.
Yesterday, she got one long strip of bacon, and two measly pieces, all chewy and barely lukewarm, totaling about two full pieces of bacon. She got -- I kid you not -- seven, maybe eight, homefries. Also lukewarm. The eggs were overcooked and barely warm too. The french toast came in two long slices, barely presented at all, just one leaning on the other. PATHETIC! Considering she paid $3.95 for the side of bacon and something around $10-11 for the main dish, $14-15 total, this was an insult.
Sneakers, you CANNOT TREAT YOUR CUSTOMERS THAT WAY. Inconsistency is what kills restaurants. I worked in cafes/delis for many years as a cook and attended CIA for a semester. I know what goes on in kitchens. Maybe because it was an hour away from closing-time the cooks just stopped caring for the day?
My dish was laughable. I got a cold portion of scrambled eggs about the size of an infant's foot. Obviously my dish had been sitting even longer than hers, which makes sense, considering french toast takes longer to cook than crepes. I got two pieces of cold, chewy bacon. Got three last time. The crepes, what a disgust. The first bite I took, I could vaguely taste the almond in the batter. After that, it was masked by chocolate sauce that didn't seem to have much of an espresso flavor because THAT was masked by what I swear was raspberry yogurt inside the two poorly executed crepes that lay in an indistinct mess on the right side of the plate.
Raspberry yogurt, I swear. It had the consistency and the tanginess of yogurt. Raspberry cream would taste like real raspberries, and have a light but vibrant red color, not to mention tiny raspberry seeds which I'd have at least found stuck in my teeth. This was the same off pink you can find at the supermarket in a yogurt cup. And you charged me $13 for this abomination of a culinary creation. Disgusting, and insulting. I'm a food snob and a good cook. I could do better than this without a recipe and I'd have the final product on the menu, delicious and for $11 dollars at most, including three strips of bacon and a great portion of freshly cooked eggs. And your crepes were too thick. Nothing delicate about them. GET IT TOGETHER!
Last but not least, what is up with your waitresses dropping checks on the table while we are still eating? My girl was literally about halfway through her meal when the check was rudely dropped on the table without a word. WTF is that? Is that an encouraged practice at Sneakers? She got a $3.50 tip on a meal costing us $31.50. I'm sure she wasn't happy about that. For $35 bucks we could pay for a hearty dinner, a couple beers, and tip, at Das Bierhaus. Why would we ever visit your "establishment" again? And just how established are you if you can, one week, serve great, fresh food, and the next, put dogfood and yogurt on a plate for the same exact price?
You can say I'm overreacting, but think: if Sneakers were to serve food like this all the time, they wouldn't last a year in the somewhat competitive Burlington area.
I hate wasting money, and yesterday, we wasted $35. There will not be a next time for us. Good luck and I hope whoever you hire as a new cook can do better for the kitchen than whoever was behind the line yesterday morning.